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Time TravelWayne and Tamara Direct Answers - Column for the week of September 20, 2004 Let me quote something you wrote. "When you reach the boundary between like and love, you know you are entering a different country. You are beyond newness and infatuation. You know what Shakespeare meant when he called love an ever-fixed mark that looks on tempests and is never shaken." On one level, I agree with what you say. But I believe very few of us find what you describe. We end up settling when we reach a point at which we realize it is either that or being alone. I, for one, have never felt what you describe and recently have come to terms that I will not. I am 50, outgoing, attractive and independent, with two children who are blessings I would never have if I did not "settle." I know I will never make that mistake again, and I find I am alone and probably always will be. Is love the luck of the draw Are some of us just luckier than others Or is it something lacking in me I would love to know. Linda Linda, sixty years ago the science fiction writer René Barjavel asked what would happen if you traveled back in time and killed your grandfather before he met your grandmother. Could this happen If it did, you would not exist, so how could you travel back in time This dilemma is known as the grandfather paradox. When you "settled," how did you know the next man wouldnt have been the perfect one for you How did you know the children wouldnt have been his and your children When you are of the mindset of settling, youre not thinking of love but of other things--marriage, a house, children. Youve traded love for a time schedule. When you "settle" for a house, how many more houses do you visit with your real estate agent None. How do you know the next house wouldnt be the one of your hearts desire When you are dating, married to, or pregnant by a man you settled for, how likely is it you can see or be seen by the one for you It would be as easy for us to say your children would have been in your future, if youd waited. Now you want to discount this idea again, but you are closer to it now than when you settled--because now you dont want to settle. This has more to do with patience than with luck. You dont stop trying to balance your checkbook until things balance. Perhaps it is your fate to come to this knowing now. Why could this not happen for you now Why not tomorrow or next month or next year When you are living your life fully, engaging with others, knowing what you want, why not now Wayne & Tamara Theoretically Speaking My relationship started off as a holiday romance and has had trouble developing into a normal relationship. We met in Spain and fell for each other immediately. We were both over the moon, but when we moved in together, things began to deteriorate. He wasnt sure what he wanted. I felt neglected and reacted badly by contacting an old flame. He thinks I nag. Once, in a rage, I told him I dont want to be with him anymore. Now hes angry and refuses to speak to me until he thinks things through. It upsets me because I know were both very much in love, but no matter what we do we cant seem to make it work. Jayne Jayne, in science competing theories are tested against each other to determine which is true. You believe you and your boyfriend are in love. That is your claim. We have an alternative hypothesis. It was a holiday fling. On our side we point to verbal rage, nagging, confusion, and unfaithfulness. What evidence is there for your theory Wayne & Tamara
| | | | RELATED ARTICLES Is Accumulating a Net Worth of $1,000,000 Easy Yes and No After purchasing Anthony Robbins Get The Edge program, I was a bit skeptical that it would provide much value. I can honestly tell you that it has dramatically changed many areas in my life. Many of my new or old goals are finally in clear focus, Ive been taking action on a daily basis and more of my goals are now beginning to become a reality. Anthony Robbins exudes an abundance of energy and shows a sincere enthusiasm to help you get motivated and move towards your own path to success. Cost of Living Analyses If youve ever moved from the Midwest or the South to either coast, you realize just how different the costs of day-to-day living can vary among various U.S. cities. Many transplanted families pursue cross-country moves with the knowledge that their new hometowns will be more expensive. And many employers recognize that impending cost-of-living increase with a "cost-of-living allowance" -- a slight raise in salary so that an employee may maintain his or her current standard of living without having to tighten the purse strings upon arrival. Mortgage Prepayment Penalties - Just Say No One of the most common terms found in a new home loan is a prepayment penalty. This type of penalty says that if the borrower pays off the loan early, commonly during the first five years of the loan, then the borrower will be responsible for paying an additional amount of money, typically about six months interest on 80% of the mortgage balance. Sub-prime market loans will typically carry prepayment penalties more than standard mortgage loans. Increase Your Buying Power With Capital Gains Reinvestment When it comes to selling property capital gains reinvestment can be an important strategy for homeowners and commercial and business owners.The Internal Revenue Service requires capital gains tax to be paid on the sale of all capital assets, including properties.Once the sale occurs the tax expense can be enormous, but with a little ingenuity capital gains tax can be avoided and the tax burden relieved.The sale of a home or an investment property can facilitate incredible steps forward for anyone in the real estate market.Planning, education and consulting the experts are the keys to increased buying power! 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What Is A Home Based Travel Agent Many people are unclear about the travel industry.Travel agents are often thought to be the same as real estate agents.Becoming a travel agent or more specifically a home based travel agent is an exciting career change or retirement option.Some people do it full time while many do it as a part time business. Writing e-Newsletters – Tricks of the Trade Follow 10 simple rules of thumb, and you’ll soon be writing great e-newsletters and reaping the rewards. Relocating for Retirement Which Realtor Can Help You I am a native of Tidewater Virginia, which encompasses counties and towns in the Chesapeake Bay area from Virginia Beach, to Hampton, Newport News, Williamsburg and New Kent County. Even before I entered the real estate profession I watched the real estate market change and evolve over many decades. The Tidewater area, which includes Greater Williamsburg, is a pleasant location for retirement mainly because of the temperate climate and convenient location on the Eastern seaboard. Many military retirees who have served much of their career in the area simply opt to stay in Southeastern Virginia when they retire. Scaling Down almost Painlessly Moving to a smaller house or apartment in a retirement community almost always involves a certain degree of trauma, both for the elder whos moving and for family members. However, by planning ahead you can reduce the discomfort involved and turn what might well become a nightmare into a pleasant event. The Angry and Sometimes Grumpy Children of the 1950s A bunch of us in our late 40s and early 50s got together the other night, and after the evening was over I started thinking that many of us born in the 1950s are in a crisis stage. People cant understand why we are so angry and grumpy sometimes. This article discusses some of the issues we have with society today and might enlighten others the younger set as to why we seem so disillusioned, and out of sorts at times. Various Aspects Of The Lease Purchase Business In a previous article, we wrote why we believe that Lease Purchasing is the perfect home-based business, here we want to briefly touch on some of the actual aspects of operating such a business, the pluses and minuses and why Lease Purchasing represents a win-win situation for the seller, the tenant/buyer and just as importantly, you, as the business owner. Living and Retiring in Bolivia A beautiful and inexpensive place without a tourist in sight. Sound like a dream Its not. This slice of paradise does exist. Nestled high in the Andes Mountains of South America, Bolivia is a little-known retreat exotically spiced with a unique Latin and Native American flavor. 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It is one of the best known structures of the world and has been admired by all of us. So much so that each of us knows its name. This building not only became an icon but a symbol of twentieth century mans attempts to achieve the impossible. But how did this gigantic icon get built- Chandra Bhushan, Architect Do I Need Raised Letter or Full Color Business Cards If youve been searching around for business cards that will best represent the image you want to portray for your business, then youve no doubt encountered many options. The Big Two, as I like to think of them, are "Raised Letter" and "Full Color." How To Purchase An Annuity An annuity is a contract with an insurance company to make periodic payments for retirement income and sometimes other purposes. Internet Success Recipe Thousands of people are attracted to the internet each day in hopes of starting an online business. The internet offers a channel of opportunity for anyone motivated to start a business of their own and the opportunities are almost endless. Is Accumulating a $1,000,000 Net Worth Easy Yes and NO Is accumulating wealth as easy as following a 3-step plan Yes it is and no it isnt. As with many things in life, accomplishing a goal such as accumulating one million dollars or even $100,000 depends on your desire, your personal choices and your daily actions. Disaster Decision - Do You Need Insurance The expenses involved with owning a home can be overwhelming at times - routine maintenance, repairs, seasonal preparations, improvements. Not to mention taxes, fees, and all those monthly bills. Some homeowners, in trying to reduce their expenses, wonder if they really need disaster insurance. |
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