![]() |
![]() |
Relationship Information |
|
![]() |
![]() |
A Heat-scar Named Desire
Where on earth is my "play on words" taking me with this one? I remember so well those taunting words. "They told me to take a streetcar named Desire and then transfer to one called Cemeteries and ride six blocks and get off at Elysian Fields." New Orleans, Streetcars, Marlon Brando, Vivien Leigh and a film steeped in controversy and symbolism. What, you may be ask, does the Tennessee Williams screenplay of "A Streetcar Named Desire" have to do with lifetime relationships? I'm glad you asked. The answer may surprise you. When the character, Blanche, made the above statement, although full of symbolism, her message was clear. She had been on the "desire" streetcar long before ever arriving in New Orleans, and it had only taken her to a life of bewilderment and death (Cemeteries). Elysian Fields was the supposed place of "paradise" she so longingly sought. As the movie progresses, you soon discover that where this streetcar had taken her was anything but paradise. Sound familiar? Have you ever been on a streetcar like this? Are you on it now? Think about it! The fires of passion and sex burn hot in the world around us. Chasing desire seems to be a common theme in the world today. Music videos, the Internet, TV shows, movies, magazines and books often have one common theme, the feeding of desire. We have made sex more about recreation than relationship, and heat-scars abound as more and more get caught in the web of deception that chasing desire creates. What, you may be wondering, is a "Heat-scar"? * Children disillusioned by parental infidelity - Heat-scar! * Teenagers and College students buying into the craze of "Girls Gone Wild" actions being where body dignity is found - Heat-scar! * The lonely and heart-broken housewife struggling to find intimacy and measure up to the blonde bombshells of her husband's pornography enthusiasm and addiction - Heat-scar! * Women struggling to be valued by our culture as more than sex objects - Heat-scar! * Men struggling so much with the strongholds of lust and desire that they can't walk by a display of magazines without feeling the tug - Heat-scar! And then along comes someone like me stating, "It is better to be wanted for a lifetime of nights and not just a night of a lifetime." Along comes someone like me extolling value in the marriage union. Along comes someone like me with a message that "turning-on" may be elevated over and over again in the world around us, but "tuning-in" is where it is really at. "Tuning-in" to the longing of the human heart for intimacy. "Tuning-in" to the longing of the heart for companionship. "Tuning-in" to the longing of the heart for love, acceptance, compatibility and oneness. This is why I often say that a suggestive music video may awaken desire, but it does nothing to satisfy the cry of the heart for intimacy, love, acceptance, compatibility and oneness. How about you? Is your focus in life and relationships more about "Turning-on" or "Tuning-in"? Your answer may determine if you, too, are in danger of being burned by "A Heat-scar Named Desire." (C)Copyright 2005 advice-for-lifetime-relationships by Stanley J. Leffew ALL RIGHTS RESERVED! Stanley J. Leffew is the Author of, "How To Be Wanted For a Lifetime of Nights and Not Just a Night of a Lifetime". His website is based on this same theme. Find out for yourself why leading-with-the-body in life and relationships feeds desire but fails to satisfy the longing of the heart for love, companionship and intimacy by visiting http://advice-for-lifetime-relationships.com.
|
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
RELATED ARTICLES
Building the Bond in Your Relationship A bond (relationship wise) is when two people have a connection. Being attracted to each other and sharing common values and interests brought the two of you together as a couple, but the bond has not been set completely. Besides the fact that you have love and care between you, you also need to see whether or not the two of you are friends. Is it possible to be friends? Absolutely! As a matter of fact, it is a must if the two of you are going to build a lasting bond. Discerning The Loving Heart How often have you had the experience of connecting with someone ? a friend or a potential partner ? who turns out to be an uncaring person? At first you think this is a really good person, and then down the line you discover that the person is self-centered, narcissistic, angry and uncaring. You wonder how you could be so wrong, and what can you do differently next time? Romantic Gift Guide It is a commonly held belief, mainly amongst men, that romantic gestures are only given on Valentines Day. This shouldn't be the case however, and a romantic gift or gesture given at any time of the year can make your loved one feel really special. Nip Verbal Abuse in the Bud So often in a new relationship we learn the dynamic of the new relationship. This includes how you react together as a couple, with each other, and in group settlings. Backgrounds are very different and as our techniques in dealing and interacting with other people. One thing you need to be on the look out for is verbal abuse. Verbal abuse always takes place before physical abuse does. Knowing what the signs of verbal abuse are as well as being able to stop that treatment early on is key in a relationship. Loves All About Chemistry People who have been swept off their feet know the feeling. Love makes us all feel funny. That sense of giddy disorientation, unsinkable euphoria and complete obsession with a new love can be so overpowering, that it's hard to imagine it's all about emotion. Now scientists are confirming there indeed may be a lot more going on in a body that's in love than simple, happy thoughts. In fact, a spate of research has shown what kind of chemical and neurological activities occur at different stages of human and animal relationships. While the results hardly make love less mysterious, they do start to shed light on why it can make people feel so funny. Slaying The Green Eyed Monster He hasn't called in hours. You call and get the roommate: "Oh, sorry ....he got in really late last night and is still asleep!" Recharging Your Relationship Now you may ask why we would write an article about developing better relationships. The reason is because I believe that those who are in a relationship will be significantly and directly affected in all areas of their life by how that relationship is going, and how healthy that relationship is. Set Your Relationship Up for Success A quarter of thirtysomething couples are unhappy in their relationships, a new study shows. Just 51% of thirtysomething couples said they were "very happy" in their relationship, with the remainder saying they were "quite happy" but would like to see improvements. Has The Magic Gone From Your Relationship? Kathleen and Dan have been together for several years now. At first it was magic and Dan was so romantic and attentive. Now he is constantly criticizing her or even worse ignoring her completely. When he's not out with his friends he lays around the house watching T.V. expecting her to wait on him. Just when she thinks that she can't stand it any more, he becomes the old loving, romantic Dan once more; however, this never lasts longer than a few days and then he resumes his old behaviors. Kathleen knows that it's time to for a life change but simply can not bring herself to take action. Want To Strengthen Your Relationship Open your mouth. What do I mean? Talk ? say what's on your mind. Walking around with a chip on your shoulder will not strengthen your relationship. It will only create more distance between you and your mate. If you can't find the right words to say, write a letter. You may think that not saying something will make the issue or problem go away ? it won't. What it will do is build resentment towards your mate and open up the door for other problems to crawl in. How Much Time Do You Invest in Relationship Maintenance? When starting a new relationship, we usually adopt a subconscious idea as to how much maintenance this connection will need. Usually, if given some thought, we can throw a microscope over this concept while it is in its fledgling state. What Is Love And The Love Equation What is Love? This question has bothered me for a long time. After listening to many perspectives and examining Love from several angles, the thought came to my mind that we have over-complicated Love and need easier to understand models. I decided to put forward two equations, one defining the relationship between Love and Fear and the other about Love itself. The first equation is: True Love - Part 1 True Love! We all dream of being in love with that significant other, at some point in our lives. Is it better to have loved once than not to have loved at all? If this is really the case, then how do we actually find true love? How can a man or a woman really get to the core of the whole relationship game? What are the rules of such a game? The Use and Abuse of Deception The word "deceive" is derived from Latin, de- away + capere to take, decipere to ensnare, catch in a trap. The Simple Facts About Falling In Love We are meant to live a life of love. However, no matter how successful some are in other aspects of their lives, they donā??t feel itā??s realistic to have the same success in love. Great Relationships: 4 More Dumb MIstakes and 4 Smarter Moves to Make 1) Treat the family you have come from as more important than the family you are creating. Put your parents' opinion and happiness above those of your spouse. Spend more time with them than you do your own family. Invite them into marital disputes. Share private knowledge with them. Romantic Relationships: An Internal Process If you grew up in the 80s like I did, you might remember the group Depeche Mode and their hit "Just Can't Get Enough." It is a song about being obsessed with the idea of being with someone, about needing another person. Romance easily becomes this addiction when we believe that we are not complete without someone else and that we simply cannot get enough of the blissful feeling we get when we are with him or her. When we believe we need the romance to be complete, we are in trouble for we are perfect and complete, connected to the world at all times - we merely need to choose to acknowledge that we are. One of The Main Reasons Why Relationships Fall Apart I had the priviledge to try out a BMW M5 at a BMW dealership. It is one of the most refined race cars that is ever built. The interior is all leather, the V8 engine produces 398 horse power, navigation system, and wow, you gotta try it yourself. The 4 Deadly Mistakes of Wife Seduction When a guy gets turned down over and over again (during the seduction process) in his relationship with his wife (or girlfriend) he often attempts to make adjustments. You are about to learn the 4 deadly mistakes guys make when attempting to correct the problem with their "not in the mood" female partner. Whats in a Kiss Just think of being in front of a warm cracking with you partner in your hands, with a kiss and a cuddle. But have you ever thought about why people kiss? It could be a greeting or a sign of affection, but we all kiss. ![]() |
home | site map |
© 2005 |