Relationship Information |
|
How do We Change our Self Esteem Perception?
Many of us have heard about the power of positive thinking to effect a change. The idea is not new, it stems from modern psychology as well as from ancient spiritual teachings. In each case, an individual is encouraged to avoid negative thoughts and to replace them with positive and hopeful messages. Think of your brain as a massive computer bank with a huge memory. A computer is programmed to respond in a certain manner, when given input. We can even alter the data that comes out if we program it to do that. The same can be said for the brain. Try this exercise. Close your eyes and imagine that you are going to make a lemon chiffon pie. You go to the counter and pick up several lemons to use in this creation. Cut the lemons in half and smell that citrus aroma. Imagine holding the lemon under your nose. Now take a bite of the lemon. What happened? I would guess that your mouth puckered up and saliva began forming in your mouth. In reality there is no lemon. But your brain hs been programmed to prepare the mouth in the event citric acid is about to enter it. Can you thus understand just how powerful your brain is? If it is programmed without our even knowing about it, how might it respond when we actively train it? Affirmations are a wonderful way to program our behavior and beliefs. Karlynn is originally from Southern California but moved to Arizona to work on her Master Degree in Rehabilitation Counseling and also specialized in addictions. She owns The Employee Assistance of Tucson, providing counseling and training for employees and their dependents. It is very rewarding work. She enjoys her life with her husband, David, her three daughters, and her two adorable grandsons.
|
RELATED ARTICLES
You are Killing US with YOUR Jealousy Hey all, I feel that need to reach out and touch someone. So here I am again. How to Ask for a Gratifying Sex Life So your relationship has changed over the years since you said "I do" and sex isn't what it use to be. First you should know that this is normal and common place in the majority of marriages. Knowing that you are not alone does not make you feel any better nor does it get you the satisfying sex life that you once had. You simply can't go through the trials of life without changing. Holiday Fun for Singles Are you dreading the holidays because you are single? For those who are alone, this can be a difficult season -- especially if you know what it is like to be in a relationship during this time of year. This can, however, be your best time of the year if you follow this plan: Universal Laws for Couples The Law of Connection: Spouses are either growing closer or growing apart. You don't get to stand still in relationships for very long. So we need to know two things: What does it take to continue to feel connected to my spouse? And what does it take for my spouse to continue to feel connected to me? Great Relationship Advice: Dont Be a Darren Stevens Q: I can't believe I'm asking this question, because I can't believe I'm even feeling this way. My wife just got an offer that would give her a better and higher paying job than I have. I can't believe I am jealous, and even worse, I'm tempted to encourage her not to take it. How do I stop myself from doing something really stupid? Can Men And Women Be Friends? Or When Harry Met Sally Did He Really Just Want to Jump Her Bones? Men and women can't really be just friends, can they? Of course not. There's always that pesky sexual tension to contend with. And what about the spouse, spousal equivalent, or boyfriend/girlfriend who's sure to be jealous? Plus, there's the biological/sociological nesting imperative that women contend with and the hunting imperative that seems to drive men. 10 Clues of an Online Affair 1. Your spouse or partner spends excess time on-line. Who doesn't use a computer today? I know a few people. They are excellent for paying bills, staying in touch with family, friends, customers, finding street locations, and a host of other productive endeavors. We can not live without them and shutter when a lighting storm threaten our usage. Just look at kids and their instant messaging. They will go without dinner just to keep in touch with their circle of friends. Try to pull them away, it's no easy task. Does your spouse resemble your kid's magnetism to the computer? Discover why this need is so powerful before it's too late. Are You Chasing Dollars or Your Kids? Striking a perfect balance between work and home today can be difficult task for most of us. However, do you ever wonder if your spending too much time chasing money and not enough with your children? Got a Girlfriend? Heres How Not to Screw It Up Having a girlfriend can be a dangerous thing. We become too dependent on our woman for our happiness, and then if we get dumped, we find that we've all of a sudden lost our confidence. This results in having trouble meeting new women, being without sex for many months, until we finally get a girlfriend again, and... the cycle repeats. So to break this cycle, we need to REMAIN the attractive guy, the alpha male. You see, relationships can make us guys too lazy (since the sex is so easy) and we lose that "high value" mindset. It's crucial to keep that alpha male frame of mind that says, "I am like a Lamborghini." Do Lamborghini dealerships grovel to try to get people to like them? Of course not. Instead they allow all the buyers to come to them. Hell, Lamborghini doesn't even advertise. As a man, you should have a similar confident mindset if you want to maximize the attraction your girlfriend feels for you. So, how do you keep that alpha mindset? First and foremost, avoid chasing your girlfriend like a puppy dog. A basic concept which will prevent her from ever treating you badly is what I call Punishment and Reward. If a woman engages in behavior which you disapprove of, punish her by withdrawing your time and focusing on something (or someone) else. If she does something you like (such as having sex with you), reward her by giving her more of your time, talking about her feelings, etc. So whenever you do something nice for her, do it because you're rewarding her. And DO reward her good behavior, if you want more of it. Like I said, Punishment and Reward. Then there's the issue of being a challenge. Women act sweet when you're a challenge to them. They act bitchy when they take you for granted and no longer feel like they need put out effort to win your affections. Often by around month 6 in a relationship is when a woman really starts to take a guy for granted, so avoid that by remaining a challenge. So the solution to remaining the attractive, alpha guy in your relationships is threefold: 1. Always be willing to focus your time on things other than your girlfriend. Don't reward her for acting bitchy by continuing to be around her when she does. On the other hand, too, reward her for good behavior by giving her more of your time when she acts sweet. 2. Always have it in the back of your mind that you could end the relationship at any time. Don't explicitly threaten her with that, but just make it a subtle implication. That way she'll never become truly comfortable with the relationship and will keep working to win you. 3. Always allow her to think that's she's just a little bit more interested in you than you are in her. Again, this can be very subtle, but if (for example) you're telling her 20 times a day that you love her, and she's only telling you that twice, then obviously the situation is badly out of whack. Why Anger is Essential to Healthy Relationships Romantic Relationships: An Internal Process If you grew up in the 80s like I did, you might remember the group Depeche Mode and their hit "Just Can't Get Enough." It is a song about being obsessed with the idea of being with someone, about needing another person. Romance easily becomes this addiction when we believe that we are not complete without someone else and that we simply cannot get enough of the blissful feeling we get when we are with him or her. When we believe we need the romance to be complete, we are in trouble for we are perfect and complete, connected to the world at all times - we merely need to choose to acknowledge that we are. Relationship Advice: Wash that (Bad) Man Out of Your Hair Stuck on a guy who cheats on you? Lies? Claims he loves you but can't marry you because a) his wife won't divorce him, b) his last relationship ended so painfully it nearly killed him, or c) he can't make a commitment until his kids are in college? True Love - Part 1 True Love! We all dream of being in love with that significant other, at some point in our lives. Is it better to have loved once than not to have loved at all? If this is really the case, then how do we actually find true love? How can a man or a woman really get to the core of the whole relationship game? What are the rules of such a game? Lobster - The Food Of Romantics Summer has arrived! Woo-Hoo! Do you know what always comes along with summer? Well, besides the bugs! Weddings! Yeap, that's right, Weddings. But I've got an other one for you. Years after all those wedding what else comes in summer? Nooo, not divorce, Anniversaries. All those people who were married are now going to celebrate their Wedding Anniversary. Congrats! Setting Up Boundaries in Relationships Setting up personal boundaries is important in all types of relationships, but in intimate ones, it is all the more important. As with the closer the relationship will become it is easier for those lines to blur. You may ask yourself what is a boundary and why setting, or recognizing them do for me. Boundaries are personal limits we have with other people emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Often we already have these built-in, but sadly we often ignore them because we were taught to be nice to everyone, or that our desire to be in a relationship may outweigh how we behave. Is Your Husband or Wife Cheating? Five Great Reasons to Hire a Private Investigator! Discovering an affair in your relationship is indispensable, but that's just the beginning of what you will face. A family court ruling will be rendered either for or against you and your children. A judge will decide for you based on the EVIDENCE, who is the best custodial parent. If your state considers infidelity grounds for divorce, PROOF is essential! If you are party to a legal action, your observations, discoveries and testimony is already tainted with BIAS. This article will give you a few insights to consider. I've identified 5 key reasons you SHOULD hire an investigator and in a few words examine the reasons why. Link Romantic Feelings To The Sight Of Your Face Anchoring is an NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) term used to describe the mind's tendency to associate two unrelated events or experiences, especially when a strong emotion is present. Relationship Advice: 10 Ways to Prevent a Break Up The question I am asked most often is: I think he/she is getting ready to leave me. What do I do? There isn't an easy answer for this or there wouldn't be any break ups. Every situation is different and sometimes breakups are inevitable. However this is not always the case and there are things you can do before you reach the breaking point that will help. How Much Time Do You Invest in Relationship Maintenance? When starting a new relationship, we usually adopt a subconscious idea as to how much maintenance this connection will need. Usually, if given some thought, we can throw a microscope over this concept while it is in its fledgling state. 8 Reasons Why Your Man Isn?t More Romantic On Valentine?s Day What is supposed to be the most romantic day of the year is too often a source of disappointment and frustration instead of joy for thousands of couples. |
home | site map |
© 2005 |