|
|
| Relationship Information |
|
|
|
|
Universal Laws for Couples
The Law of Connection: Spouses are either growing closer or growing apart. You don't get to stand still in relationships for very long. So we need to know two things: What does it take to continue to feel connected to my spouse? And what does it take for my spouse to continue to feel connected to me? The Law of Nagging: I've rarely seen a situation where one person was being accused of nagging where the other person was not being irresponsible in some way. Nagging is no fun, for the nag-ee or for the nag-er. It takes two people working together to stop the pattern, one to be responsible, and then one to not nag. The Law of Emotional Needs: Most, if not all, conflict in marriage can be traced back to unmet emotional needs. So what are the emotional needs of your spouse? If you find yourself in the middle of a conflict, especially one that occurs over and over, what emotional needs are not being met? The Law of Underwear: After you have been together for a while, it's easy to slip into doing things you never would have done when you were dating. So don't hang around in your underwear, unless it's sexy. The Law of Communication, Part 1: Human communication expert Paul Waltzslavick said, "You cannot not communicate." If this is true, the question then becomes "what am I communicating to my spouse on a regular basis?" Not only by what you say, but by what you do, as well as what you don't say and don't do. The Law of Communication, Part 2: True communication is a two-part endeavor. It's the responsibility of the person talking to make sure that the message is getting across and the responsibility of the person listening to make sure to get what the other person is saying. The Law of Manners: It's all too easy to begin taking each other for granted. It's important to continue to treat each other well. So when you need to get by someone, saying "excuse me" is still a whole lot better than "move." The Law of the Other Person's Eyes: In marriage, we don't have to always agree with our partner, or even see things the exact same way. We do need to be able to step into the world of the other person and be able to see through their eyes. The Law of Fun: The couple that laughs and plays together has a much better chance of staying together. The Law of The Anniversary: I really like this quote about celebrating anniversaries: "A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year." - Paul Sweeney The Law of 3 People: When you marry someone, you don't marry one person, you marry three. The person you think they are, the person they really are, and the person they will become as a result of marrying you. Copyright 2003 by Jeff Herring Jeff Herrring, MS, LMFT is a marriage and family therapist, relationship coach, speaker and nationally syndicated relationship columnist, and founder and CEO of http://www.Couples-Connection.com. You can email Jeff at jeff@couples-connection.com and sign up for his f'ree internet newsletter "Couples-Connection on his website at http://www.Couples-Connection.com
|
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Coping with Your Abuser How to cope with your abuser? How to Create a Solid Foundation for Loving Relationships What does real love look like? The way we act towards other people is a true expression of how much we love. Living in Fear! As we are aware, our relationships are that bigger part of our life, and our own personal growth. Our growth starts basically from our relationships. Remember when we were young looking up to our parents, or to our older brothers or sisters, sometimes envying them for being older, or just trying to understand them. But the best of all was trying to build up our relationship with them. Cutting the Cord Sometimes, after a relationship has ended, many of us have problems letting go. A lot of my clients often complain of feeling haunted or even possessed by the dearly departed (who probably isn't even thinking of you at all and is busy happily running away with his or her new partner.) It's like the person has left an indelible imprint upon your heart and many of us feel that we can't go on until the ex returns. The energy of the ex might be manifesting itself in all sorts of ways --- in what you perceive to be little omens or reminders that occur in every day life (such as a phrase or song lyric) or even as a visitor in your dreams. Long Distance Relationships ? Not Always a Bad Thing You hate it, but it's happened ? the love of your life has to travel abroad. Will it be days, weeks, or even months before you'll see them again? Many people have had to face this situation, and what many of them never consider is the ways in which it can make your relationship stronger. Seduction Secrets For Men Part 3 - A Wonderful Idea To Spice Up Your Existing Relationships There is a cool little game for spicing up your long-term or fuck-buddy relationships. How We Define Our Relationships? We can fall into the habit of complaining about our relationships, but do we really take the time to evaluate them? Maybe not, because well, we're always right! He or she never listens to ME or does things the way I think is right (the human EGO speaking loudly here!). How realistic are we? So often when we think of our ideal mate we give them qualities and attributes that one person may or may not be able to possess. These qualities can be how they look, how they treat us, to something like what kind of job that they have. Are these ideas realistic? Sometimes yes, and sometimes we are way off the mark. A good exercise may be to write down these ideals and see how realistic we are. Set Your Relationship Up for Success A quarter of thirtysomething couples are unhappy in their relationships, a new study shows. Just 51% of thirtysomething couples said they were "very happy" in their relationship, with the remainder saying they were "quite happy" but would like to see improvements. Friends and Friendship - Who are Friends, What is Friendship A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. (Proverbs 17:17) Breaking Your Relationship Pattern, Part 1 When you were little, you looked up to your parents. You imitated their mannerisms, words, and actions as you learned about life by watching them. This applies to relationships as well - you leaned about relationships by watching them. Ten Tips to Play Together, and Stay Together: Lessons from the Teepee Turn-around There is an old expression, which may sound trite, but I believe it is true, "People that play together, stay together." A couple (by marriage or some other agreement) can increase their chance of remaining a positive statistic, by creating a habit of engaging in fun activities together. These can be planned or spontaneous. When you have fun together, it creates positive memories, which act as seeds for a long, playful relationship. Is Your Soulmate an Idiot? Lately, I think people are investing too much energy in the idea that they "must find their soulmate." Where do we get this idea that we are somehow not complete unless we are connected to another person? What are you? An electrical outlet waiting for a plug, so you can finally light up the world? Frankly, when I hear the word "soulmate" I tend to give a little shudder, especially when I think about some of the people in my past that I have considered to be my soulmates. Quite frankly, most of my soulmates were idiots! The Buddha would say that they were also my teachers -- people I have known in a previous life time who have come back in this lifetime to teach me a lesson. Boy did they, but unfortunately, it sometimes takes several soul mates to teach us just one lesson. (Hint, hint -- I think the lesson is supposed to be about "letting go" and stop trying to control, or own people -- a common problem in this society.) Stop Making Relationship Mistakes! Avoid Another Unhappy Relationship! It is possible for women to steer clear of an unhappy relationship. However, it will require taking an honest look at themselves and their relationship mistakes. Prince Charles and Camilla - The Greatest Love Story Of Our Time Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles have loved each other for over thirty years. Their love story is the greatest love story of our time. It's a wonder that more people do not see it this way. Although the public loved the late Princess Diana dearly, this does not diminish the great love story that belongs to Prince Charles and his true love, Camilla Parker Bowles. Coping with Your Difficulties in Yourself Ashleigh Brillant once said" Sound Seduction Advice for Dating and Romance Success Background Spouse Improvement: Influence Your Partner to Change in Just 7 Steps Everyone has something they'd like to change in their partner. Here is a 7-step process to create a change in your partner. The key to the success of this process is that it makes your partner want to change - instead of feeling coerced. Are You Ready to Handle an Indigo Child? So what's new in the world of spirituality and the new age these days? What's the new talk we keep hearing all about? The talk about the indigo Children is gearing more and more. There are now so many workshops, lectures, books and websites dedicated to discussing this subject. You name it, we've got it! 9 Reasons You May Not be Getting the Love you Deserve Are you getting the love you deserve? Are you being appreciated, romanced, hugged, kissed, and respected? Is your romance dying slowly? Has it lost its sizzle, spark, glitter, excitement, energy, passion, and spontaneity?
|
| home | site map |
| © 2005 |