Hunter and Gatherer

Deep down, we havent evolved as much as we would like to believe. Like the caveman, we still want to curl up next to someone during the dark of night so that we arent so alone in the cold survival game. We want to feel safe, warm, and loved inside and out. Its hardwired into our brains. We travel in packs and we care for our young for a very long time. We need a mate to travel with, someone to love, someone to cheer when we win the battles against vicious animals, someone to guard the cave when we need to lick our wounds from the battles we lost. Its not about being needy or codependent, its about a need for connection, partnership, usefulness, and co-creation. Its the way humans were designed.

The male is designed to hunt and protect. He is built bigger and stronger because its his job to protect those he loves and to provide the meat. He has an unmistakable need to stalk and outsmart his prey. He needs to physically move with speed and agility in order to actively conquer the object of his focus. His mind is designed for cunning and for calmness in battle. His life and the lives of his loved ones depends on his ability to be strong, smart, and stable. He approaches his relationships the same way. Its only natural that hes going to use those skills which are so finely tuned and perfected. He must pursue that which he wants. The game of pursuit is his secret delight. He loves the challenge of the chase. It makes him feel alive, the life force flows through him as he scores that first smile, the first kiss.

The female is designed to gather and nurture. She is built with an eye for the smallest detail and the ability to verbalize. Its her job to gather the nuts, fruits, vegetables, firewood, and to herd the children. She has to be able to recognize the poison foods from the nutritious. She must recognize and gather the healing herbs in order to help her loved ones survive their various ailments. The familys mortality rate is in her hands. She has to watch over them with a critical eye for detail watching for the first signs of fever and sickness. If she can catch it early, her chances of saving them is higher. She uses language to keep tabs on where the children and other women are so that none are lost while foraging for the berries and such. She uses language and her magnetism to keep her loved ones near so that she can watch over them. She draws her man in the same way. If she cant pull him into her nest, then how will she be able to look after him

So how does that all play out now in modern times Well, he doesnt have an outlet for his athletic and cunning. He hunts and battles vicariously through the television remote control. He is lost in a suit and tie world. He creates war and battle without realizing it because he has to feel that hes protecting his loved ones from an enemy. He still tends to conquer his woman. She doesnt know the healing arts anymore and uses her words and keen eye to nitpick and tear down her loved ones. She overspends at the mall in order to touch that part of herself that needs to gather supplies for her family. She creates illness and scarcity so that she has an excuse to heal and gather things close to her again. She manipulates her man into marriage. Neither one knows what it is theyre doing on a subconscious level to create the situations needed so that they can live out their roles.

What can we do about it We need to acknowledge who and what we are. Quit lying to ourselves and pretending that were civilized and enlightened. We are just cavemen with technology, laws, and manners. The core of our biological programming hasnt changed all that much. Were still afraid of the dark and in awe of the moon. The forces of Mother Nature and her seasons is still beyond our full comprehension. We still need each other. Most importantly we need to feel at one with ourselves. We need to rectify the world we live in today with our biological skills, drives, and motivations. We need to feel useful and that our lives have meaning and purpose. Men need to find a constructive way to hunt and protect. Women need to find a healthy way to gather and nurture. Stop arguing over things like equality and whether or not we can do each others jobs. Its not important. Everyone can do everything, but that doesnt mean thats where our natural gifts and talents lie and it doesnt mean that what we choose to do is in alignment with who we really are. Move beyond stereotypes and into the core of what the human animal really needs in order to thrive not just survive.

We can start by finding an outlet for our core instinctual drives. He doesnt like being manipulated and nagged at anymore then she likes being conquered and dominated. Sure there needs to be a bit of these things in the initial courtship. He needs the challenge of using his physique, his cunning mind, and his abilities as a provider to win the girl. She needs to know that she can magnetically attract him to her side and that hell keep her safe from the bad guys. The strong relationships are the ones were the man keeps on impressing the woman with his cunning and ability to provide for the familys needs. Likewise, the strong relationships include a woman who knows how to magnetize her man and how to nurture her family. Our relationships improve when we learn to use our gifts for something more constructive then just tearing each other apart.

Copyright 2004, Skye Thomas, Tomorrows Edge