How To Tell If Someone You Meet In An Online Profile Or Advert Is Married/Partnered Or A Troll - 2

Troll Detection Made Easy

Due to their overwhelming lack of social skills, the gay man's 'trolls' aren't that hard to detect if you know what to look for.

The majority of them are usually oblivious to anyone or anything but themselves, and thus behave in a way that makes you shudder with embarrassment.

A classic example is someone who sends you naked pictures of themselves without asking, or giving any indication that's what they're going to do, first.

Another example is someone who bugs you for your personal contact details even after you have already declined.

There are literally millions of gay men and women online daters out there - you can easily afford to be picky.

If you have a bad feeling about someone, trust it!

However, be aware that there are some other, more malevolent trolls, who will try to bait you and lure you in to talking with them or meeting them.

So how can you tell if they're a troll?

When I first began using online dating I had no idea, I was completely naive.

Resultingly, I fell victim to a troll on more than one occasion ? thankfully I have never been physically bashed but:

? I've been homo-bashed in a chat room by an obvious gay-person hater. In fact, I think it was a 2 or 3 of them having a good laugh.

? I've gone on dates with troll's, more than once. Shortly after we met it became very obvious they were nothing like they described.

? I had to change my phone number because I foolishly gave it out to a desperate troll who wouldn't take 'no' for an answer.

I'm not trying to showcase my stupidity! I am just giving the reasons why I had to, out of necessity, develop some kind of early detection system.

After a lot of trial-and-error, for both myself and my clients, I developed a check-list of yellow-flags'. Here are atwo of them:

1. Move-Out Ya Bum!

If you get any hints that they still live with their mom and dad, that's a sign of a troll.

If they are young then it's probably OK, but most gay online daters are mid-20's and upwards.

From my experience, a grown gay man or woman still living at home is cause for concern.

If a relationship did start, you would have to always use your place. Additionally, you have to wonder if his or her parents even know your date is gay.

If they don't, visiting would be like being 14 all over again?.imagine ? you visit, date introduces you as a friend and then tells his/her mother you are going up to the bedroom..

Mom asks if you want some milk and cookies... and the whole time you're in constant fear she will burst through the door at any time?

You get the picture.

Be sure to clarify, however, who is living with whom. It may be the case that it is the dater's house and their parents actually live with them.

2. The Pungency of Desperation

Any whiff of desperation is a sign - if they can't 'get' anyone, there's probably a good reason.

Desperation can come in the form of:

- wanting to hook-up for a date very soon after you have met them online.

- claiming to love you even though you haven't yet met in person.

- making future plans for your lives together even though you haven't yet met in person.

- talking a lot about depression, intense loneliness, suicide and other dark thoughts.

- telling you very private details about their life way too soon.

- offering to give you their contact details even though you've only spoken (typed) once or twice online.

- when you log into your online dating service there are 6 messages waiting for you even though you only met them online for the first time yesterday.

- being too agreeable. Very easy to fall for this one. If they seem to have no opinion of their own and concur with you on every issue, they may be willing to say anything to get a date.

What do you do? Run like hell!

No seriously, ever heard the song 'Klingons Off The Starboard Bow'?

Well the more desperate a dater is, the more they will cling-on.. it could become a problem you can do without.. like I said earlier, it lead to me changing my phone number!

That's it for today, we have run out of room. To sum up, you need these to recognize these early warning signs to save you from the same tragic events I endured.

So, be wary of a grown man or woman who still hasn't left the nest and be even more wary of the desperate-dater.

In the next part of this series I will discuss 2 more yellow-flag indications the person on the other end is probably a troll and how to get around them.

I call them the 'Statute of Contact Limitations' and 'No Sepia-Toned Photos Please'.

Your Truly,
Adam Coole
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lesbian-articles/gay-dating-coursearticle2.htm

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