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Relationship Information
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Dumped? Get Set for a New Life Welcome to Dumpsville. Population - you! Top 10 Ideas to Revive a Fizzling Relationship Love is exciting, and when a relationship is new, almost everything you do together is fresh and alive, and keeps you enthralled. Then time begins to pass, and while the love is still there, the relationship may have lost some of its sparkle, whether it's because you now have a family or not. Here are some of the top 10 ideas to revive a fizzling relationship that might just put some of the bubble back into the champagne of your life. What Every Woman Should Know About Men and Romance Men and women think differently about romance. Relationship Red Flags Do Appear Early On So often in the bloom of a new romance we set aside a few "minor" character flaws to let the relationship continue, where sometimes we really should just end it early, and cut our losses. I'll make a list of a few of the ones that often come up. Unfortunately, individuals that have these red flags are often the most charismatic people in the room. So be careful when you are starting out, so you can disengage before you are too involved. 1. Do they make all of the decisions for you? They chose where to go, what to eat, who you will be with? 2. Must they know where you are all of the time? Are the calling too often to check up on you? Are they calling you eleven times in an hour because you couldn't get to the phone? (Calling that often isn't cute, it's controlling.) 3. Do they force themselves sexually too early in the relationship? Are they pushing for intimacy too early? Are the pushing you in other intimate areas you do not want to go. 4. Do they lie? If they lie about minor details, they will lie about more, later on. This will happen. It is one thing to lie about small social things, lies about marriages, children, jobs, housing, finances, and past experiences is not acceptable. 5. Are they physically aggressive? Are they mean to your pets or other small animals? Do they hit the walls? 6. Are they kind to other people? Do the run down other people? Stay away if they fail these tests. You will be their subject when you are not in earshot. Maybe not today, but one day, this will happen. 7. Are they putting you down in private or public? We build up people we love; we do not tear them down. 8. Do they want you to slow down other social contacts and be with them instead of others in your social circle? 9. Do they forget important details in your life, or interests that you really hold near and special to you? If they gloss over them, they really think more of themselves than you. 10. Do they fail to acknowledge your areas of expertise? Are you a fantastic cook and they won't let you cook? This is really a short list, listen to your gut, your natural instinct, if something feels funny, stop and evaluate it honestly. Ask yourself if your close friend was describing these events and what they would do. If it sounds odd what you're telling your friend, guess what, it is odd. End the new relationship while it is early, before you give that person your heart. One of The Main Reasons Why Relationships Fall Apart I had the priviledge to try out a BMW M5 at a BMW dealership. It is one of the most refined race cars that is ever built. The interior is all leather, the V8 engine produces 398 horse power, navigation system, and wow, you gotta try it yourself. Rekindling An Old Flame Dr. Nancy Kalish, a psychology professor at California State University, Sacramento, is the only researcher of couples who reunited with former sweethearts. Her book, Lost & Found Lovers: Facts and Fantasies of Rekindled Romances, 1997, is based on her first four years of research (now 11 years). Questionnaire responses were included from 1001 participants, ages 18 to 89, in all 50 states, and 35 countries. In addition, the book contains the lost love stories of the couples in their own words. Got a Girlfriend? Heres How Not to Screw It Up Having a girlfriend can be a dangerous thing. We become too dependent on our woman for our happiness, and then if we get dumped, we find that we've all of a sudden lost our confidence. This results in having trouble meeting new women, being without sex for many months, until we finally get a girlfriend again, and... the cycle repeats. So to break this cycle, we need to REMAIN the attractive guy, the alpha male. You see, relationships can make us guys too lazy (since the sex is so easy) and we lose that "high value" mindset. It's crucial to keep that alpha male frame of mind that says, "I am like a Lamborghini." Do Lamborghini dealerships grovel to try to get people to like them? Of course not. Instead they allow all the buyers to come to them. Hell, Lamborghini doesn't even advertise. As a man, you should have a similar confident mindset if you want to maximize the attraction your girlfriend feels for you. So, how do you keep that alpha mindset? First and foremost, avoid chasing your girlfriend like a puppy dog. A basic concept which will prevent her from ever treating you badly is what I call Punishment and Reward. If a woman engages in behavior which you disapprove of, punish her by withdrawing your time and focusing on something (or someone) else. If she does something you like (such as having sex with you), reward her by giving her more of your time, talking about her feelings, etc. So whenever you do something nice for her, do it because you're rewarding her. And DO reward her good behavior, if you want more of it. Like I said, Punishment and Reward. Then there's the issue of being a challenge. Women act sweet when you're a challenge to them. They act bitchy when they take you for granted and no longer feel like they need put out effort to win your affections. Often by around month 6 in a relationship is when a woman really starts to take a guy for granted, so avoid that by remaining a challenge. So the solution to remaining the attractive, alpha guy in your relationships is threefold: 1. Always be willing to focus your time on things other than your girlfriend. Don't reward her for acting bitchy by continuing to be around her when she does. On the other hand, too, reward her for good behavior by giving her more of your time when she acts sweet. 2. Always have it in the back of your mind that you could end the relationship at any time. Don't explicitly threaten her with that, but just make it a subtle implication. That way she'll never become truly comfortable with the relationship and will keep working to win you. 3. Always allow her to think that's she's just a little bit more interested in you than you are in her. Again, this can be very subtle, but if (for example) you're telling her 20 times a day that you love her, and she's only telling you that twice, then obviously the situation is badly out of whack. Penpal and Christian Penpal Having a penpal can be fun; bringing diversity into your friendship circles, and a having a Christian penpal can bring support and encouragement into your life. A penpal is someone that you correspond with, getting to know each other through personal writing. Many relationships have been discovered through the avenues of writing to others in another town, another state, or across the world. A penpal is one way to build and maintain life-long friendships. Relationship Conflict: The 3 Cs of Resolving Conflict "And they lived happily ever after.........." Be Glad That There?s Quarrel in Your Relationship Is your love relationship smooth? Have the both of you actually quarreled before? If your answer is yes, then you should be happy and be glad that it happened. But if your answer is however a no, then you should be aware of the danger that you are facing. Hmm? did I make things sound a bit too scary? Ha, it is not exactly that serious; don't be scared off by me. Well, I should believe that the both of you are just, still in the sweet honeymoon period of your relationship. 3 Stone Diamond Rings ? Three Times As Nice! It is said that the stones in 3 stone diamond rings represent the past, the present and the future. Just as a couple unite these things when they join together in marriage, so three stone diamond rings represent perfectly all that has made each partner what they are today, the present moment that they share, and the future into which they now walk together. Just like the ring itself, the three stones in 3 stone diamond rings celebrate the timelessness of your relationship. Its Your Fault I Had An Affair! When you read it like that, out of context, you'd be hard pressed to believe that anyone would have the nerve to come up with it as a serious justification for infidelity. Yet film star Jude Law has, allegedly, used this astonishing piece of sleight of mouth to justify a recent fling with his children's nanny. Great Relatinship Advice: The Ability to Create a Vision for Your Relationship Many of us stumble into marriage and then continue to make it up as we go along. But relationships need much more conscious planning in order to be successful. In a hectic and throwaway culture, couples need a vision for their relationship. Feel Like a (Romantic) Kid Again If the start of the school year makes you a little nostalgic about your own school days, why not take a little trip: back to your own childhood! Make a date with that special someone and act like children again. You'll soon see that this child-like fun can be just as romantic as a grown-up date (and a whole lot easier on the budget!) Rhubarb Romance: A Little Honey Works Wonders Spring is in the air. It is a time of new life. There are green grass, kittens, puppies, and rhubarb. The Unfairly Judged Professor An All Too Familiar Tale When Your Relationships Turn Abusive - What You Can Do Sometimes the people who are the closest to us, our friends and our mates, the ones who should be liking us the best, are the ones who hurt us the most. Ending a Relationship Gracefully Ending a relationship is never easy. When you feel you must end a relationship most people find it challenging as they have feelings towards their partner and do not wish to hurt them. Are You My Soul Mate? I'm always dumbfounded when someone walks up to me and declares that they either have not found their soul mate or says, "There are no soul mates out there for me." Lifelong Partners, Lifelong Growth Many people, maybe even you, think there is only one life partner for each of us in our lives. I've got good news ? we all have many, many life partners. A life partner doesn't have to be a romantic partner. A life partner is anyone with whom you share long term growth, internally and externally. Relationships in which you can grow with another person as change inevitably occurs are life partnerships. So the pressure is off -- you don't have to look for "the one" anymore.
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