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Successful on the Outside, Lonely on the Inside: Our Hidden Epidemic I say "Loneliness. Isolation. Invisibility." Ive Gotta Hand It to You What would I do without my wife? Not much. What would I do without my best friend? Even less. Parasitic Relationship Something in my life is weighing heavily on my mind, and I don't talk to anyone about it. I married my husband when he was 21 and I was 20. After being married six months I found out I was pregnant with our daughter. She was and is the apple of our eyes. She just graduated from college and is doing well in her new career. Happily Ever After/Real Love I was 43 years old and still looking for love. I guess I was searching for love in all the wrong places. I just wasn't finding the man of my dreams, my soul mate, prince charming and mate for life. I thought I had that with Bill, but he turned out to be a poor excuse for a man. The bottom line is you can't change a man. You can only change yourself in the process. Apologizing When We Hurt Our Friends or Partners In every relationship there will be occasional misunderstandings and hurt feelings. Sometimes we are the one who hurt another person we care about; sometimes we are the one who has been hurt. Relationship Red Flags Do Appear Early On So often in the bloom of a new romance we set aside a few "minor" character flaws to let the relationship continue, where sometimes we really should just end it early, and cut our losses. I'll make a list of a few of the ones that often come up. Unfortunately, individuals that have these red flags are often the most charismatic people in the room. So be careful when you are starting out, so you can disengage before you are too involved. 1. Do they make all of the decisions for you? They chose where to go, what to eat, who you will be with? 2. Must they know where you are all of the time? Are the calling too often to check up on you? Are they calling you eleven times in an hour because you couldn't get to the phone? (Calling that often isn't cute, it's controlling.) 3. Do they force themselves sexually too early in the relationship? Are they pushing for intimacy too early? Are the pushing you in other intimate areas you do not want to go. 4. Do they lie? If they lie about minor details, they will lie about more, later on. This will happen. It is one thing to lie about small social things, lies about marriages, children, jobs, housing, finances, and past experiences is not acceptable. 5. Are they physically aggressive? Are they mean to your pets or other small animals? Do they hit the walls? 6. Are they kind to other people? Do the run down other people? Stay away if they fail these tests. You will be their subject when you are not in earshot. Maybe not today, but one day, this will happen. 7. Are they putting you down in private or public? We build up people we love; we do not tear them down. 8. Do they want you to slow down other social contacts and be with them instead of others in your social circle? 9. Do they forget important details in your life, or interests that you really hold near and special to you? If they gloss over them, they really think more of themselves than you. 10. Do they fail to acknowledge your areas of expertise? Are you a fantastic cook and they won't let you cook? This is really a short list, listen to your gut, your natural instinct, if something feels funny, stop and evaluate it honestly. Ask yourself if your close friend was describing these events and what they would do. If it sounds odd what you're telling your friend, guess what, it is odd. End the new relationship while it is early, before you give that person your heart. Should You Forgive Infidelity? If you're asking yourself that question, then somewhere within you there must be a desire to forgive the other person. After all, if you knew 100% for sure without doubts that you definitely should NOT forgive, then you wouldn't be entertaining the question, right? You would have already said your goodbyes and would be moving on with your new life and licking your wounds. You may or may not have trust issues in your future relationships depending on how you processed the infidelity in your past. But what if you are struggling with the question? What then? Who Should Relocate In A Long Distance Relationship? My Dear Lover, Relationship Problems Have Warning Signs Families are made up of individuals; men, women, and children. All members are interconnected. Imagine a family represented by a hanging mobile. Each member is a hanging object. When you tug on one object, it shakes the rest. The same is true in families. Each person's moods, attitudes and behaviours influences those around him or her. Are You Really Ready For a Relationship? So often I hear, I want a boyfriend, I'm married but I'm not happy. I just got divorced and I don't want to make the same mistake again. When will I find someone? It occurred to me recently that in order to be in a relationship that works, it's necessary to be ready to enter one. I know that sounds really simple, but if we look at our national divorce rate, you can see that it is not simple. In fact, I seriously doubt that many people consider their readiness for marriage or relationship of any sort. I think the average scenario goes something like this. He is attracted to how she looks. She is attracted to his energy and productivity. They start dating and eventually she thinks it might be a good idea to get married. He goes along because he is sure it's going to get him regular sex and then all their friends and relatives get excited about their wedding. They have a big celebration and then they start to realize there is more to marriage than living together. Please forgive me for the offensive simplification of this scenario. It is merely an illustration. The 100 Laws In any group of abused women there's almost always at least one who is extremely attractive; well groomed, well presented and the complete opposite of the kind of stereotypes that people normally harbour. The Wrong Kind of Love A lot of people have the wrong kind of love and don't even know it. If you are experiencing any of the following issues I have listed in this article, then you definitely have that wrong kind of love. You can try to fix it, if you have the time and patience, and if you think that there is something special about your guy. But if all you are getting from him is lots of heartache, then it is time to dump the load that is weighing you down and move on. Now let's get to it. If you have any of the following in your current relationship, you have a serious decision to make: Long Distance Relationships - How to Make it Work Long distance relationships are dreadful. I know this because I'm currently living one. You watch other couples walk down the street hand-in-hand, kissing, etc., everyday and you can't do anything but envy them. So how can a long distance relationship work? How can you keep on loving someone if you can't even see them? The Sting of Infidelity Isnt that Bad! Right? Is it? 1. Sleepless nights are part of a victims' experience and they have countless reasons to toss and turn. They lie awake at night filled with anxiety fearing an STD (sexually transmitted disease). Until the doctor's visits end and a clean bill of health (many years later) a victim lives in trepidation. After a divorce they worry that a future relationship is not achievable. They speculate whether their medical condition may erupt on them. They lose sleep over wanting to live a long life. Soulmates, Are They Pre-ordained? One day a telegram arrived at a man's door. When he opened it, he learned that his best friend had passed away... The Sponge Pattern Relationships. They're complicated, right? At least that's what we've been told, well, since childhood, girlhood, womanhood?whatever. The point is they're not easy. Growing up, adults try to explain away the differences between men and women in every way imaginable. "Boys tease you because they like you." "Women are more in-tune with their emotions than men." When I was in my first relationship, my dad (yeah, that's right, my DAD! Ughh!!!) gave me this book by a doctor named John Gray. Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, was the name of it. I'm sure you've heard of it, or perhaps even read it (I, myself, only made it through about 30 pages or so). Even if you haven't read it, even if you didn't know it was actually a book, I'm sure you've heard that "men are from Mars, women are from Venus" thing used in conversation, on TV, somewhere, everywhere. Well, it certainly seems sometimes, (all right?all the time), that men are from a different planet. But, what happens when you start dating guys that are all not just from Mars, but from the same country in Mars, state, even city? What happens when every guy you end up with, seems, well, like the same guy? Proper Flower Etiquette Flowers are great gifts for practically any occasion, but there are some basic rules of flower etiquette. With the popularity of ordering flower delivery online, some buyers may not get the sound advice they'd get from a local florist. This guide presents the real meaning behind different flower types, and when they are best used. Relationship Advice: Safety, Intimacy, and Fun When people come in for marriage counseling, they bring their own expectations. Some people expect the therapist to say one spouse is wrong and the other right. Others expect to talk only about the problems in the marriage. Many come not knowing if they want to stay together or if they want to divorce. They do know they don't want the marriage to continue as it has been. Relationship Advice - How to Improve Intimacy A relationship requires intimacy. I don't think anyone would argue with that. However, what intimacy means to women and what it means to men can be two different things. The ironic thing is, both sexes need intimacy in both of it's forms to have a solid relationship. Relationship Advice: 7 Strategies for a Great Relationship 1. Commitment |
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